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Three Questions That Caught Me Off Guard
 By Jackie Kessler As a writer, I love getting asked questions about writing, or about publishing, or about my books. Hell, ask me about anything; I’d be happy to answer. I love the sound of my own voice, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll make something up (I write fiction for a living, so I’m paid to lie as truthfully as possible). **grin** But sometimes, I get asked questions that I just didn’t see coming. Here are three of them. 1. “Is it true you write porn?” What really blew me away was this question came from my blue-haired great aunt. She’d heard from my mother that there’s teh sexxx in my books, so of course, that means these are books you bring into the bathroom and have a good time with. (Er, not that there’s anything wrong with that.) Deciding that if I said “I write fantasy,” she wouldn’t get that I meant of the magic variety and not the magic vibrator variety, I told her, “I write romance.” Her response? “Oh. **I** read **romance.**” Heh. Wonder what she’d say if I sent her a copy of my upcoming erotic novella? 2. “Where do you get your ideas?” Seriously, this is the sort of question that you hear about getting asked, and all the good answers are of the “Wal-Mart” sort. I didn’t think anyone actually asked this question in real life. It was more like Urban Legend for Writers. But no — another aunt of mine asked me this. I think I said something particularly brilliant like “Er, a little of this, a little of that, and it just sort of happens.” Next time, I’m sticking with the Wal-Mart answer. Yup, the most popular question I get when I go to bookstores to do signings. Ah, the glamorous life of an author… HOTTER THAN HELL is on shelves now! Go, buy! For a chance to win a signed copy of HTH, comment below and tell me what question has caught you off guard. Winner to be picked a la random number generator on MONDAY, AUGUST 11. Have at it! 24 Responses to “Three Questions That Caught Me Off Guard” |
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August 6th, 2008 at 11:13 am
A question that caught me off guard was one time I was at the mall in the restroom, and I was at the mirror, and this woman asks me “Are your boobs real? If they aren’t can I feel them?”
I was like woah. I’m no prude but that was upfront, so I turned to her and said “Yeah they are real, you can still feel them if you want though.” She made a disgusted face and walked out. Like it would be awful to touch my REAL boobs, and OK to touch ‘em if they were fake.
hahaha
August 6th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
My mother use to help me out for the first two years of my marriage. My husband and I only had one car so she would pick up my daughter and I and we would do our grocery shopping together. Usually we would take turns holding my daughter when it came time to pay for our food. I already paid one day and took chloe so my mother could pay and this women look at my mom and asked “Is she always such a good big sister?” My mom and I just look at each other. Mom told her, “No, but she is a very good mom.” The check lady could believe that I was the mother and said that I looked like I was thirteen, we had to tell her that I was actually 20 years old.
It is funny though that none of these weird questions are ever said to me. My husband has been told quite a few times (by other women) that they would like to go home with me. But no women have actually hit on me to my face. I think it is because I’m to shy.
My son asked a funny question when he was about three. He went up to a big breast women, grabbed her breast, sqeezed them, and asked where did you get these. They two women he did this to gave the same answer, I grew them. It was cute
August 6th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I am guilty of asking “where do you get your ideas” and I write. LOL I think what I really wanted to know when I asked if they got their inspiration from something as mundane as I do. I can get an idea by the way a guy checks a girl out when she doesn’t realize he’s doing it and have a whole adventure in my head. LOL
When my mom found out that I was writing, the first this she asked was whether or not I was going to write about sex. I told her of course not, all of my characters were going to have “relations” in their mind. LOL Let’s just say that she hasn’t asked anything else so silly again.
August 6th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Well my questions can’t match the previous ones… but, I think one of the questions that most caught me off guard was “Oh your English is so good - how long have you been in the states?” I was born in Smalltown, USA so it was a bit awkward while I explained that.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Ooh, I’ve had that happen before, Limecello–I’ve been asked, “so how long have you been here?,” meaning how long since I’ve gotten off the plane/boat/whatever brought me to this country… Since I was born in the States, that’s a blast to answer :)
The question that caught my sister off guard in the supermarket checkout line was the when the little girl in front of her poked her head under my sister’s shirt and asked loudly, “Where’s the baby?” My poor not-pregnant-at-the-time sister didn’t quite know what to say…
August 6th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
While I was at work one day, sitting at my position speaking on the phone with a client a woman came up to my desk and asked ‘Do you work here?’ While I wanted to ask her what she thought I was doing there if not working I was polite and offered to help her.
August 6th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
I asked for a senior discount and the checker said, “May I see your drivers license, please?
I have been a senior citizen for several years now and was surprised when asked for proof of age.
August 6th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
I’m frequently asked if I work in the store that I’m currently shopping in. This has happened in department stores and supermarkets and sometimes the employees have uniforms. Even though I don’t have a uniform or name tag on I still get asked.
August 6th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Ooh, I get asked a lot, “So, where are you from?” :roll:
Um, I know that they’re probably trying to ask me what my ethnicity is since I’m mixed… but, just to mess with them I say, “I’m from here. But, I was born in Kansas.”
August 6th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
When my identical twin sister and I would go out somewhere occasionally someo who needs his/her eyes checked would ask “Are you sisters?” There were times we wanted to say “No, we just met today.” but we managed to restrain ourselves. :-)
August 6th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
And who says it kids you ask the weird questions. Look out for all kinds of family members…or random males in my case.
Here are the two oddest questions I’ve ever been asked:
1. Last summer I was on a scavenger/treasure hunt with my brother and one of his friends. The last night of the hunt, we had dinner with another team who had participated. We were all sitting at the table in a restaurant in the French Quarter when one of the guys from the other team (which was an all male team) asked me, “Have you ever masturbated?” Yeah, he actually asked me that at dinner, with my brother sitting right across from me.
2. I had my 5-year college class reunion this summer and was sitting at a table with two of my male college friends and a male friend of theirs when my friends told me to use ‘earmuffs’ so I wouldn’t hear what they were saying. Well, instead of doing that, I just told them to ask me whatever it is they were trying to be secretive about. So, one of my friends turned to me and asked me, “Do you own a vibrator?”
Both of the questions came completely out of the blue and caught me off guard. I don’t know how or why those subjects even came up. But I guess what I’ve learned from both experiences is that I just shouldn’t go to any restaurants where I’m going to be the only female with a bunch of males.
August 6th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
“Are you English?”
I was born, raised and still live in Australia. I have no English relatives (that I know of), yet at a social gathering in high school, I was asked the above question.
Have a lovely day! :-)
August 6th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
I had a friend and once a co-worker and we didn’t looked that much alike, but one day a customer asked me “how is my sister, the other girl?”
August 6th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
I’ve been a blonde all my life and at some time I had very blonde hair. I always got asked if that was my real color– there were no roots showing darker but they still asked.
August 6th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
I have naturally curly hair, I get asked all the time what kind of perm it is.
August 6th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
LOL on the questions!! I’m asked ‘Do you have the time?” and I want to ask, no I’m busy I don’t have the time, LOL. Just seems so many ask that and I don’t wear a watch, LOL
August 7th, 2008 at 12:01 am
I work in customer service and today I had a relatively ridiculous question asked to me…I called a customer regarding their request to cancel an order. I had called to tell them that the order was cancelled as they had requested. After I advised the customer of this…he said to me is that all you called me for?
Now, what else would I have been calling him for? To possibly set up a date for later?? I mean honestly what else would I be calling for?
August 7th, 2008 at 3:19 am
As a nurse I can get really odd questions. One of the ones I hate most is when a guy smirks and asks “can I have a sponge bath?”
August 7th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Ah, the perpetual questions…I’ve gotten asked all of the questions you mentioned Jackie. The one that keeps coming up is “Where do you get your ideas?” Another one is, “You really write these books?” Um, yeah. One question that some guys at my husband’s work (my husband was still in the Army at the time) asked him was, “Where does your wife get all the ideas for the hot love scenes?” He growled at the guys, “From me, of course.”
Of course, there are always the people at book signings who don’t realize you’re the author sitting behind the table signing books and assume you work at the store. They usually ask, “Where’s the bathroom?”
Another favorite one I got once at a book signing was, “Do you still write your own books?” Apparently this person had heard that some authors have ghost writers. I’m not usually that quick on the draw with comments, but I simply smiled and said, “No, I’m not that famous yet.”
Denise A. Agnew
http://www.deniseagnew.com
August 7th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Stacie, hahahah! oh man, the last thing I want is an old man smirking at me and asking for a sponge bath! :shock: So far that hasn’t happened to me. Yet.
I get asked if I’m Spanish, Russian, Irish, Greek, etc a lot ’cause I have an accent but I guess it’s hard to tell where I’m from.
August 8th, 2008 at 9:44 am
I guess the question that used to get me was in relation to my sons.
They both have these brilliant blue eyes. However, I am brown eyed and the DH is hazel eyed.
When they were babies strangers would look at them and then at us and ask “Where did they get those blue eyes??”
Ummm…are you really hinting that they are not my biological children, I cheated on my husband, or are you just really rude and nosy?
The blue eyes were passed down from my father-in-law and his mother.
My husband’s standard response was “They came from their father’s side of the family” had the amazing effect of cutting off any additional questions. :razz:
August 9th, 2008 at 1:45 am
i have a bad knee, i was following my children thru the mall , well they aways way ahead , there was a guy walking, he told me, you do know you have a slight limp
uh DUH :?:
i think i might not have knew i havea limp unless that nonne -of-his-business man hadnt told me :evil:
another time, i was buying diapers, for my granchild, the clerk asked, must have a little one at home,
i started to tell her , naw im just buying them for fun , you wanna come?
i was standing outside a bbathroom door, waiting for my kids to go first, and a woman comes up behind me and asks, are you waiting, :?:
o should have said
naw just standing here stareing at the ladies bathroom door trying to focus enough, it will open on its own
August 11th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
And…the winner has been announced on my blog!
http://www.jackiekessler.com/blog/2008/08/11/the-winner/
Thank you to everyone who commented!
August 12th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
wtg winner.