I must be hopelessly out of touch. I simply don’t understand the appeal of My Space, Facebook, and other such online groups. Yes, I understand that they’re a way to network with people. Yes, I know you can post photos and share news. And in theory, that sounds great. It’s like email, but bigger, better.
But here’s the problem. I joined Facebook a while back because one of my former students was spending a semester in Spain, and I wanted to see her photos. I filled out my profile, posted my book covers, added her as my friend. And for a few days, it was kind of fun, checking out her photos, posting a message or two on her wall. But it took time I didn’t have, so I pretty much let it slide.
Okay, I completely ignored it. Weeks passed. Every few days I got requests to add friends to my page, which I did. Then one of these new-found friends sent me a “hug,” which I thought was rather sweet. Someone else wanted to know what I was doing right then.
Then today I went back to my page, and was I shocked! I couldn’t believe all the messages I had. People wanted to send me the following items:
Shoes, hearts, growing flowers, pieces of flair, candy, gifts, hugs, fashion gifts, sweets, good karma, Swarovski crystals, stuffed animals, Baskin Robbins, cookies, butterflies, spies, my fairy, eggs, top friend, Haikoo zoo. I had other messages wanting to know who my celebrity boyfriend was, what kind of warrior and Jane Austen heroine I was. Was I addicted to Lost? Would I become a knight in a game, a forever friend?
Stranger yet, most of these were from one person, who I promptly deleted from my list of friends.
And I couldn’t help but feel appalled. Who was this person? How did she have time to send all these things? And what was she doing with her life? Shouldn’t she be out there living, traveling, having relationships with people instead of sending nonsensical requests on the internet to someone she didn’t know?
So how much time do people spend on Facebook and other similar communities? Is everyone except me sending pieces of “flair” to strangers all night long? And what the heck is “flair,” anyhow? Enlighten me, please! 
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I admit, I have a myspace and a Facebook page, but I don’t spend a ton of time on them. I enjoy visiting occasionally, and I admit, I even send flowers, etc, every once in awhile. It really only takes seconds to do it but I can imagine it’s a little unsettling to be bombarded with these things from complete strangers. I’ve tried to be more discriminating at Facebook about who I add as a friend.
And I have no idea what “flair” is.
by Stacy ~
on June 23rd, 2008 at 6:16 am
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I don’t get the appeal of either MySpace or Facebook, myself.
I have been active in a couple of online forums, and at times I’ve devoted a bit too much time to one of them (being a moderator for any large board will quickly suck up your free time, by the way), but I’ve always been very leery of the eerie (and false) feeling of intimacy that online interactions create.
Like Stacy~, I have no clue what “flair” could be in that context.
Have a good week, everyone!
by azteclady
on June 23rd, 2008 at 7:39 am
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I don’t have a Facebook account and I let my MySpace go away after it was hacked (I didn’t spend any time on it anyway). I had the MySpace just so that I could check on my daughter, but she gave me her passwords and I go to hers directly when I want to check. LOL
I have no idea what “flair” means on Facebook and I don’t know how people find the time to keep so many pages going at once. I am not a computer guru, so it takes me forever to do anything anyway. LOL
by Patty L.
on June 23rd, 2008 at 8:36 am
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I have absolutely no interest in either! I don’t know, but for me, it seems kinda creepy. I don’t know if I’m making “friends” with a mass murderer online in prison or some Jeffrey Dahmer dude at home looking for his newest victim. Eeww! I don’t allow the kids on it either. I think I prefer to let them make friends the old fashioned way. And with all the predators out there, I feel better safe than sorry.
by brownone
on June 23rd, 2008 at 10:58 am
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I use My Space to post blog entries because more people read them (like, 2 instead of 0) and it’s easier. My web site blog can only handle one picture at a time, I have to do a bunch of html stuff that I don’t really understand and it’s a pain.
I’m also on Facebook, but I never go there.
Sometimes I get friended by people with private profiles. I never know whether or not to add them. Does anyone have advice? Thanks!
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Snort! Looks like I’m in good company here.  I started a blog a few months ago, but I haven’t posted in weeks. Can’t think of anything to say. *sigh* I also created a MySpace ID but only so I could post on someone else’s. I don’t have any friends, don’t know how to allow or not and I don’t visit anyway. I agree about the time issue, if I spent all that time online, I wouldn’t get any books read. And that’s priority for me! No clue about flair. 
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I have a Myspace page but hardly ever visit it.
Have no isea what “flair” is.
by Estella
on June 23rd, 2008 at 4:11 pm
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Oh, I’m so glad I’m not the only one who isn’t into all the My Space, Facebook stuff.
Jill - what is a private profile? I’m clueless. I’m always worried about adding people. I’ve gotten requests to link my website to others, and I’m never sure whether to do it or not.
But someone out there must know what flair is! 
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I’ve got a MySpace account but have only two friends and check it rarely (how sad that sounds, huh?) and I don’t even have a Facebook account. I figure there is only so much time I can spend when I’m on the computer, and those two “places” could suck up a ton. So I’m a bit of an avoider  I’ve enjoyed getting to “know” authors and other readers on blogs and that sort of forum instead.
by fedora
on June 23rd, 2008 at 6:40 pm
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I know what flair is, but not sure how to explain it. On facebook you can have a bulletin board looking application that people can add decorative buttons to it. Those buttons (think those kind that you can pin to your shirt that have cute saying and such) are flair.
And you can block all those applications if you don’t want to get all those things. I know of at least one author who stated on their page up front that they block all those requests, so not to bother. On the page where you can accept or ignore, in small print under those options is one to ignore all requests from this application.
I check my Facebook and MySpace pages daily, but don’t often do much on them. If someone sends me a request on Facebook and I accept it, I generally send one back. But more often than not, I just check for messages as it’s a good way for people to e-mail you without actually getting your e-mail address.
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When I get a friend request on My Space, I usually go check out their page to make sure they aren’t selling viagra or whatever. But if the profile is private, I can’t look, so I don’t add them. But maybe that’s harsh. I don’t know!
I’m not that up on this stuff, either. I didn’t even have internet access until about a year ago, and now I can’t stop going online. I need help…
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Aha! Jennifer, thanks for explaining flair! Now that you’ve said that, isn’t that what the waitress wore in Office Space? I’ve never seen a bulletin board on Facebook. I did see the little bit at the bottom where I could block that application, but I didn’t know if it would block ALL requests, or just the request for one particular thing (such as a hug). I didn’t want to have to disallow each one individually, so I just gave up.
Jill - I don’t think you are being too harsh. Like Brownone said, you just don’t know who is on the other end of the line!
Thanks, everyone for making me feel less out of touch….or at least I can take comfort in knowing that if I’m out of touch, I’m not the only one. 
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I have both MySpace and Facebook, and I add only people I know or have known in real life. I don’t spend my time on them but I do like that they’ve allowed me to reconnect with a couple old high school friends.
How did she have time to send all these things? And what was she doing with her life? Shouldn’t she be out there living, traveling, having relationships with people instead of sending nonsensical requests on the internet to someone she didn’t know?
I have one of those on Facebook, too. When I knew her, she lived in the aparment above me. Three bedroom apartment. Five kids. All boys. A husband who’d sent her flowers once in eleven years of marriage. Most of the time they only had one car, which her husband drove to work. So when she sends me some karaoke thing, I just let it go.
by Lorelie
on June 24th, 2008 at 8:51 am
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Gail, I believe there are two kinds of blocks… one blocking requests from a certain application, like hugs, and the other I believe is blocking requests from a certain person. It’s handy when you keep getting requests for an application you don’t want on your page or a person keeps spaming you. And I have one of those people on my friend list too and msot of the time I just ignore the requests.
As for the flair, I have the application on my page, but don’t have a link to let you see what it looks like. I’m pretty good about only sending flair to people who have the application… same with other requests. I know that I don’t like getting more and more of them on my page. It gets a little crazy.
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