I must be hopelessly out of touch. I simply don’t understand the appeal of My Space, Facebook, and other such online groups. Yes, I understand that they’re a way to network with people. Yes, I know you can post photos and share news. And in theory, that sounds great. It’s like email, but bigger, better.

But here’s the problem. I joined Facebook a while back because one of my former students was spending a semester in Spain, and I wanted to see her photos. I filled out my profile, posted my book covers, added her as my friend. And for a few days, it was kind of fun, checking out her photos, posting a message or two on her wall. But it took time I didn’t have, so I pretty much let it slide.

Okay, I completely ignored it. Weeks passed. Every few days I got requests to add friends to my page, which I did. Then one of these new-found friends sent me a “hug,” which I thought was rather sweet. Someone else wanted to know what I was doing right then.

Then today I went back to my page, and was I shocked! I couldn’t believe all the messages I had. People wanted to send me the following items:

Shoes, hearts, growing flowers, pieces of flair, candy, gifts, hugs, fashion gifts, sweets, good karma, Swarovski crystals, stuffed animals, Baskin Robbins, cookies, butterflies, spies, my fairy, eggs, top friend, Haikoo zoo. I had other messages wanting to know who my celebrity boyfriend was, what kind of warrior and Jane Austen heroine I was. Was I addicted to Lost? Would I become a knight in a game, a forever friend?

Stranger yet, most of these were from one person, who I promptly deleted from my list of friends.

And I couldn’t help but feel appalled. Who was this person? How did she have time to send all these things? And what was she doing with her life? Shouldn’t she be out there living, traveling, having relationships with people instead of sending nonsensical requests on the internet to someone she didn’t know?

So how much time do people spend on Facebook and other similar communities? Is everyone except me sending pieces of “flair” to strangers all night long? And what the heck is “flair,” anyhow? Enlighten me, please!