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A new look! A new contest!

By Jackie Kessler
March 24th, 2008

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Thanks to Bekke (goddess of DreamForge Media), my website has been completely overhauled! Come check it out — especially the new HELL FAQ! To celebrate — and to promote my latest story, A HELL OF A TIME, which is part of the just-about-out-now ETERNAL LOVER anthology (Kensington Publishing Corp), I’m going to give away FIVE COPIES of the anthology. All you have to do is comment here with your favorite HELL FAQ entry. Kudos to those who say **why** it’s their favorite entry. (”Kudos” is loosely defined as “I will throw in swag too.”)

So…check out the website, find a HELL FAQ entry you like, and post it here at Access Romance to enter the “Yay, Jackie’s Giving Books Away” contest! Five winners to be picked at random on Thursday, March 27.


43 Responses to “A new look! A new contest!”

  1. Brooke Says:

    The entry for Berserkers was funny to me because I had just watched Clerks this weekend. That’s the russian guys song! haha

    I like that you did a ton of research on strippers instead of, well, just going by what you know. I’ve read stuff that seems like the author did that, and it didn’t seem believable.


  2. azteclady Says:

    I’m sorry, I’m still lost in the Spiffy Legend–HOA is making me giggle uncontrollably–I have the sense of humor of a twelve year old boy, and keep hearing the acronym mispronounced in my head. Apologies!

    *ahem*

    I don’t know if I can get back here later with something actually related to the point…

    Happy Monday, all!


  3. Dan_Phi Says:

    OK, if I have to pick a favorite, I’ll go with Stripper, ’cause I can just imagine so many ways that conversation would go with your poor husband. “If we really need to go there for your research, I’ll do what I can to support you…” :)


  4. Carrie Says:

    Candy is my favorite. I love that you came up with the name after watching Dogma. It is one of my favorite movies!!! :grin:


  5. Cathy M Says:

    Great list, Jackie, they all made me crack up. But my three favorites:

    Hell, Map of Hell, and loved :

    Seven Most Powerful Entities in the Universe!! I mean book reviewers?!! That’s hysterical.


  6. Jambrea Says:

    This is my favorite faq: Flesh puppets. In HOE, demons tend to refer to humans this way. Hey, it’s what’s inside that counts, right? The term “flesh puppets” was lovingly coined by Caitlin Kittredge. So I had to name a character after her.

    Why you ask…because it is so funny and make me laugh out loud!! :mrgreen: :lol:


  7. catslady Says:

    I liked two - Circe because you named one of your friends as a stripper and The Envious because I’m still laughing over blobbery.


  8. Colleen Says:

    I like…”Evil. The concept of Evil is the antithesis of the concept of Good. It’s also a lot more fun.” FUN always a great thing to have!!! :twisted: I am a goody goody, but I still like to have fun, and evil makes things interesting for goody goodies!!!


  9. Estella Says:

    Lake of fire. The moat of hell. A pool of lava. Tends to burp sulphuric fumes. Great lakefront views still available.

    This made me laugh. I can imagine a real estate agent trying to sell one of the great lakefront views amid the stench of sulpher.


  10. Eva S Says:

    I liked Map of Hell, had never thought of it before but of course there has to be one!


  11. danette Says:

    I like “Bless me.” To Jezebel, this is the equivalent of Angel’s “Damn me.” We mere mortals would probably think of this right along the lines of “Fuck me”—but to Jezzie, that’s an invitation.

    I never thought a succubus might be around when I’ve said the last in the past. :twisted:

    Hugs, Danette


  12. Jane Says:

    I like Seducers. There’s nothing better than lusty demons and 70’s porn music.


  13. Cherie J Says:

    I loved the entry for Roman. It cracked me up. Revenge truly is sweet in a writer’s imagination. I could see myself doing the same in your place and I have a long list of guys that deserve a slimy character to represent them. :twisted:


  14. anne Says:

    I loved the entry for Don Giovanni. Very smart and creative. Don Viovanni is such a good twist on it. Aside from the fact that I enjoy opera and this is special.


  15. ruth Says:

    Wolfgang Mozart entry is unique and very interesting. It takes talent and great imagination to conjure up this special story. Fascinating way to include this in your writing.


  16. ellie Says:

    Lillith because I can see someone with sensitivity who sings like an angel. Glad that this is involved.


  17. Tez Miller Says:

    Terri: Because we all know that Terri is a slightly lengthened version of Tez ;-)

    Basically I laughed whenever I saw HOE, because of course in my mind I pronounced it as “ho”. Does that mean I can call the characters “hos”? Please? Screw it, I don’t need your permission ;-)

    Have a lovely day! :-)


  18. Linda F Says:

    My favorite is: Lake of Fire. The moat of Hell. A pool of lava. Tends to burp sulfuric fumes. Great lakefront views still available.

    I found this very amusing and could see a realtor using this description.


  19. Virginia H. Says:

    My fav is the Demons, You know those dudes that work from hell. I thought this was really cute and it speaks the truth.


  20. limecello Says:

    I liked Asmodai, Circe and Erinyes - yeah, I’m a classics geek :D
    p.s. - was Pan a fertility god too? I always thought it was Priapus - he’s erm, interesting.
    Loved the FAQs!


  21. tasha t Says:

    love your new page! :mrgreen: vey cool!


  22. tasha t Says:

    HTH and HOE

    Incubi. i think i want one


  23. Pamk Says:

    Coveters, the. Money-hungry demons, these guys have hypnotic golden eyes and are terrific bounty hunters (greedy things that they are, they hate to lose their prey). Actually, they hunger not just for money but for physical possessions. And when you’re talking about demons, “possession” takes on a whole new meaning…

    rofl this tickled my funny bone I think I’ve worked with and am working with some of these folks lol


  24. blackroze37 Says:

    well does it count if you been called a demon or succubi?
    i had a old bf that called me that :twisted:


  25. Fedora Says:

    Hee!

    “Momma. In HB, she is the house mom of Belles. No, I didn’t make up the job title. Really.”

    The entire list is hilarious, Jackie! Thanks for pointing us to your updated site!


  26. angie-la Says:

    First off Jackie, the new website look rocks sooo HARD!!!
    I gotta say this was one of my fave entires:
    Shield Against Evil. A magic peridot stone that hides its wearer from all things evil. Mrs Giggles nailed me as a former roleplayer when I used this term in HB. Oopsie.

    That Mrs. G…..she’ll out ‘cha in a heartbeat! :lol:


  27. angie-la Says:

    Ummm..entries not entires!!! :roll:


  28. April Says:

    I really can only pick one entry? So unfair since the whole page was awesome. Okay, my favorite would be the Demon. Love the new website!!


  29. Shar Says:

    Strippers.

    “watched Striptease and then decided to read the book (which I strongly preferred over the movie), and then studied HBO’s G-String Divas (and promptly erased those recorded episodes so that my kids wouldn’t accidentally select them when they were looking for episodes of Go Diego Go). ”
    “and my Loving Husband and I visited a local club, where I took notes and paid a feature dancer to talk to me about her work. (No, I didn’t get a lap dance. Neither did Loving Husband, who politely declined. Probably just as well—I don’t think my accountant would have accepted “lap dance” as a viable tax deduction.)”

    But can you imagine his/her face if you had mentioned it? Or gently inquired as to whether it would qualify? I totally agree with you about Carl Hiassen’s book. The movie with Demi Moore did not do the book justice at all. One of my favorite books actually. Loved the whole entry here as all of it made me smile for various reasons as I could relate to it or just had lots of fun imagining the looks on your husband and accountant’s face when you told them what you needed to do for research purposes. My husband would probably love it if I did that type of research. Unless it is the male strippers of course. :::rolls eyes:::

    BTW, love the new look on the website. Easier to find everying with less loading time. Woot!


  30. brownone Says:

    HOE! Ha! Started cracking up when I saw it all over the webpage. What an unfortunate acronym for the book! :lol: AND it has strippers!
    Sloth…best describes me! My favorite of the deadly sins!


  31. Little Lamb Lost Says:

    Neat page! I loved the bit about Wolfgang Mozart love to know the behind the scenes bits to ideas.


  32. Amy S. Says:

    Great FAQ’s. I liked Flesh Puppets, Lake of Fire, Map of Hell, and Strippers. Map of Hell was my fave. I think it’s great that you actually thought enough about it to do a map. What was your fave bit of research for your books?


  33. Christina Cross Says:

    “Map of Hell. You wanna see it? It looks a little like Manhattan.”

    This cracked me up. I am sure there are a lot of people who would totally agree about Manhattan being representative for Hell. Then again there are tons of people who apparently love the place. Demons in disguise, lol?

    I also loved the Lake of Fire and your description for stripper research. My hubby would be right there, but he wouldn’t have declined the lap dance!


  34. Lori T Says:

    Hi Jackie,

    I love the new site…Bekke is amazing.

    I would have to choose either Candy or Stripper.

    I am a huge Kevin Smith fan and I loved Dogma. I appreciated all the research you did on strippers and I can only imagine that your husband was more than happy to go along and help with the research.


  35. Caffey Says:

    Oh the site is great. The colors and set up are so fitting! I love at the FAQ where you have all the initials up there! Love reading about Succubi and before the last year, yours, I never read them and you so helped me understand through the book! And you now too have a link to a great site that helps fill in the blanks to so much I wondered about. Thanks for those!

    I’m going through others now too, and HECATE is wow! Thats a great link under the FAQ. I’m going back to catch out more of those tibits there!


  36. ReadingIsSoMuchFun Says:

    Hi Jackie,

    Love the new page very cool info had me laughing and I enjoyed reading each one. Hard to pick a favorite but I would have to go with Wolfgang Mozart. I like the tidbit you found and shared with us. Very interesting stuff love it. I also enjoyed Caitlin Harris love the name. Something about that name caught my attention :-) I also enjoyed Erinyes great information.

    Awesome page & great information Jackie Thank you for sharing with us.

    Hugssss
    LindaH


  37. Shari C Says:

    Thoroughly enjoyed reading HELL FAQ…gave me quite a few smiles and was very interesting.
    My favorite was ‘The Envious’. If they were yellowish and rather blobbery(that certainly gave me a chuckle), I can defnitely understand why they would be ‘envious’ of practically anyone and everyone else…yuck! I would not have a sense of humor either if not only beacause of other demons stealing their human targets, but their appearance would give one no reason to feel humorous…not in my opinion at least.
    Also thought it was very clever having a Map of Hell. Never knew one existed…another big laugh from me.


  38. Laura J Says:

    I can finally post!!!!! Problems yesterday were sending all my comments to spam or moderation (even though I have been commenting on sites for months without problems) ugh!!!!

    The whole list is great Jackie, I really enjoyed all of them and laughed at most of them.

    Here is my favorite: I didn’t realize I had so much power :razz:

    “Seven most powerful entities in the universe, the. At least, according to HOE. In no particular order: the Almighty, the Devil, Lucifer, Michael, Megaera, Alecto, and Tisiphone. The rest of the Archangels are a very close second, as are other major deities. And book reviewers.”


  39. RachaelfromNJ Says:

    My favorite is STRIPPERS. This line that you said had me cracking up because I work in a tax office! LOL

    —I don’t think my accountant would have accepted “lap dance” as a viable tax deduction.)


  40. CassiefromOz Says:

    I loved the twist in HB when it was revealed what the Announcement was and what it meant for Hell and Heaven. yay for turning established belief systems on their head!

    Announcement, the. The catalyst for Jezebel running away from Hell in HB. Originally, Jezzie was going to get outsourced, and she was going to quit, and choose to become mortal. But soon I quickly realized that walking away from Hell isn’t nearly as much fun as running away from Hell. So then Jezzie needed a reason to run away. And thus…the Announcement.


  41. Jackie Says:

    Thanks all for participating! Winners have been posted at my website


  42. catslady Says:

    Thank you so much and congrats to the other winners too!!


  43. Linda F Says:

    Thanks so much Jackie! I can’t wait to read your book.