Okay, I have to admit I got this idea off the RT boards but it got me thinking. Is there any connection between romance in books and romance for real or is it all fiction as much as a time-travel or vampires or ghosts?
Do we read romance knowing it’s fiction and we need an escape or does it connect to reality?
Do you think there are real heroes our there somewhere? Those guys with the ripped bods, jet-black hair, to-die-for smile and perfect teeth? Do men come in and sweep women off their feet and make them dizzy? Has it happened to you for real?
And what about those perfect dates? Do they exist? And those perfect settings for love-making? Are there any or in real life is it doing the deed in the dark in flannel pjs?
Is all this romance a real problem? Does it give women false hope that there is the perfect guy out there for them? Does it give them false hope that everything will be okay?
What is a romance book to you? All fiction that gives you a chance to escape or is it more? Have you ever taken something from a book and used it in your life?
Maybe made a perfect setting for love-making? Have you ever written your mate a love note because you read it in a book and thought it was a good idea and decided to try it? And what about buying sexy undies or lingerie? Have you ever bought it because you got the idea from the heroine?
Has a romance book ever given you hope and courage to go on in your own life when it was falling apart?
I’ll draw a name from the responses and give away a Hot and Bothered tote.
Thanks for chatting!
Hugs, Dianne Castell
DianneCastell.com
DianneCastell@hotmail.com
Hot and Bothered
Kensington BRAVA
April 08
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What a lot of questions… I’ll answer a handful… “What is a romance book to you? All fiction that gives you a chance to escape or is it more? Have you ever taken something from a book and used it in your life?”
I read romance books because I love the HEA. Yes, I’m a romantic at heart and believe that everyone deserves their happily ever after. As with other books romance books can take me places beyond my imagination - to another world - be it paranormal, historical or rich & glamorous. I do realize it is fiction but love the escape. I’m not sure if I’ve actually taken anything from a romance book but it does give me hope.
by Ann M.
on January 22nd, 2008 at 3:17 am
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Romance books are definitely about the HEA. That doesn’t have to mean marriage, but a clear idea that the couple has committed to each other exclusively.
Romances are mostly escapism, but also I admit that they connect with reality in that they give out a message that says anything worth having is worth working for, and that women shouldn’t settle for the first guy that comes along. We deserve happiness and respect, and I believe that exists in real life.
I don’t believe in the whole “hero sweeping you off your feet” fantasy. I’m not waiting around for some guy to come “save” me. Why should he when I can save myself just fine. I don’t think a perfect guy would be very interesting anyway…though if anyone does come across those to-die-for, TD&H heroes, could ya send one my way? 
by Stacy ~
on January 22nd, 2008 at 6:02 am
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I read romance to give me what real life doesn’t. That doesn’t mean it’s bad, but reality is reality. Most of real life is mundane — work, responsibility, routine tasks, etc. Stepping into someone else’s life for the span of 300-400 pages is an opportunity to leave the mundane.
I read romance rather than “serious” literary fiction because I agree with Pres. Theodore Roosevelt. He said, “There is quite enough sorrow and shame and suffering and baseness in real life, and there is no need for meeting it unnecessarily in fiction.”
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Hi, Chicki!
I agree, there is enough sorry to go around. That’s one of the big reasons I wite humor and romance! 
Always a great combo.
by Dianne Castell
on January 22nd, 2008 at 8:59 am
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I love the HEA too. I’m one of those who reads the end of the book first so I know all’s well at the end. I have to know if a move ends happily or I don’t go see it.
I hate hate hate when the hero or heroine dies at the end. What the heck is that!
Guess that’s all the author could think of. Ick!
by Dianne Castell
on January 22nd, 2008 at 9:01 am
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I read romance to escape from the mundane. I enjoy the feeling of being transported to another place, time, realm and having these wonderful experiences which I can think back on.
by ellie
on January 22nd, 2008 at 9:31 am
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I like the HEA endings too. I read romance because it is a chance to escape. Are there hero’s like that out there…..probably. My husband will always be my hero even though he’s a pain in the butt sometimes 
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Dianne—-you read the end of the book too!?!? OMG, I can’t wait to talk to you in person! My friend who is coming to the June meetup is very against it! It drives her crazy when she sees me reading the end of the book first. I admit sometimes I do it just get her riled up! heeheehee
And I’ve said this else where, but I’ll say it here to Hot and Bothered is really good!!!!
by Laura J
on January 22nd, 2008 at 9:35 am
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I enjoy reading romance for sheer escapism. To learn about others trials and tribulations, to travel to distant places and to dream of other beautiful areas. I can picture the individuals, the destinations and this gives me pleasure and hours of entertainment.
by anne
on January 22nd, 2008 at 10:08 am
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I enjoy romances as a way to get away from everything. I think they are entertainment the same as any other fictional novel, television series or movie. I think there are real issues addressed in the stories but in the end I enjoy taking a little time out from the day and being pulled into a good story.
by Maureen
on January 22nd, 2008 at 11:39 am
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I’m like the other commenters–I mostly read romance for the escape and for the HEA. And occasionally they’ll be good reminders to do something thoughtful or to try a little something different (although it’s hard to muster the energy to put on a new slinky anything ;)) And humor’s a great mood lifter–and can help pick me up a bit in real life, too!
by Fedora
on January 22nd, 2008 at 12:10 pm
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I read for escapist purposes. That said, I need elements of reality in order to truly take me away. While not all good men have the fictional hero physique, they still can be hero-like in integrity, compassion, humor, alpha male pigheadedness, ability to fall head-over-heels in love and continue to love til death does them part (and beyond). And since there are some very handsome men in real life….
As for perfect settings/scenery/dates, they do truly exist though perhaps not as often as in fiction. My friends used to comment that my addiction to reading romance and particularly the Harlequin Presents line was just going to set me up for disappointment.
I was in London to work and met a handsome, fun man. We had a secret office romance with weekend getaways to bed and breakfast places in the UK with hiking, visiting castles, and abbey ruins. Since Europe wasn’t far we made inexpensive trips together and on one particular hike in the Alps when we had reached a small peak, and had a panoramic view….he got down on bended knee and proposed. After I enthusiasitcally, if tearily said yes, he pulled out from his backpack: Baguette, pate, brie, tangerines, and a bottle of champagne.
So another reason I read romance is that since I am happily married, I can only experience the sensation of falling in love again vicariously through reading…and perhaps movies/television.
Do you wonder why there is not so many questions about why we enjoy watching romance films?
by Little Lamb Lost
on January 22nd, 2008 at 12:39 pm
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I read romance to escape reality for a short time. It helps keep me going in this crazy world of ours!
by Estella
on January 22nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
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I love the questions. Well, I read romance books to escape reality but also it does help my relationship with my husband. sometimes it reminds me to take the time out to appreciate what I have, sometimes it puts me in a romantic mood. My husband likes me reading romance books Romance books definitely add to our relationship.
by Karrie Millheim
on January 22nd, 2008 at 3:29 pm
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Romance novels have given me places to travel to, adventures to dream about and relationship which are fascxinating. This is invaluable entertainment which provides me with hours of complete captivating stories. Nothing else is able to capture my interest and attention as these books.
by sabrina
on January 22nd, 2008 at 4:38 pm
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Books never really have given me hope… but however they give a great escape!
by Nathalie
on January 22nd, 2008 at 5:58 pm
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I read romance novels to escape and I also find many romances enlightening. When I read about another person who may be facing a similar situation in life - someone I can identify with - that makes the book even better. I love books that transport you to different locales and heroines who have interesting jobs. Romance novels definitely uplift me!
by Sandra M
on January 22nd, 2008 at 7:26 pm
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I love to escape into a book and have been doing it since I was a child and it hasn’t changed although the kind of books I now read have lol. I truly think I take something away from every book I read! It may be something trivial but at times it is something very profound. There are some books that I think must have been written just for me or at least for that moment in time. I can’t imagine what my world would be like without the insights of so many different books and especially the authors who write them.
by catslady
on January 22nd, 2008 at 7:31 pm
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Hey, Catslady.
You are so right, it does seem as if some books are written just for me too. Help me figure out things in my own life. When you see your problems in a book you’re sort of removed from the issue and and can make decisions.
by Dianne Castell
on January 22nd, 2008 at 8:21 pm
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I definitely like the escape of a good book. And it works in writing the book too. When I’m writing a book I’m there, in that setting talking to those characters. I’m not in Cincinnati in the freezing winter. I’m in Savannah in April surrounded by flowers and trying to solve a mystery.
by Dianne Castell
on January 22nd, 2008 at 8:24 pm
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I love reading romance, yes because of the happy endings, but also for the characters. It’s a genre where you really focus on the person, their growth and development, challenges and changes, as opposed to outside factors.
And of course, those moments that just make you want to melt. Like many of the other commenters, my life is busy, stressful, etc enough that I want something that I know will be resolved, happily. I think there are real heroes out there (of course they aren’t *all* perfect) - and characteristics are just collected to form that one fictional hero.
Of course, my life has been heavily (and unfairly!) weighted towards those comical moments, or the tension and angst filled character interaction moments. So its nice to know, that at least in my books, someone will be getting the nice “riding off into the sunset” ending. I don’t think I’ve ever taken anything specifically from a heroine, but its nice and encouraging to read about strong women who go after what they want *and* get it ;-).
by JSL
on January 23rd, 2008 at 12:00 am
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Hi, JSL
The melt moments are the best, I so agree. 
And that romances are positive and don’t dwell on the negative. Not that bad things don’t happen but they are handled and the characters grow and become stronger.
by Dianne Castell
on January 23rd, 2008 at 7:10 am
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I think romance books are a great escape for women who are stressed out in their every day lives and need the escape. Personally, I don’t think they set women up for unrealistic expectations about real romance because we realize it’s just a work of fiction with a clear-cut beginning, middle and end, whereas our lives are an ever-evolving work in progress. Personally, I never used a romance book as a basis for an encounter myself but I had a friend who did and the story she told about it was hilarious! That’s not to say that I won’t in the future - that’s an interesting way to keep things exciting!
by Margay
on January 23rd, 2008 at 10:19 pm
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yes
romance books are all about love, and hope to me
whenim depressed or just down
a good book always cheers me up
by tami
on January 23rd, 2008 at 11:12 pm
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Definitely! Sometimes, I like some “romance angst” - but its nice (as long as it isn’t written like teenage angst - then I want to smack the characters) because I know the characters will figure it out, and be all the better for it. Trial by fire, with a 100% guarantee of happy. Perfect. I can always be seen with a *huge* grin when walking out of a library (other than school) or bookstore.
by JSL
on January 24th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
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I’m really late chiming in on these questions. I read romance because I do believe that at the cornerstone of life, the thing that matters the most is love. I do believe in happily ever after because I have it with my hubby. Have I been swept off my feet by a gorgeous man…yes. My hubby.
I love reading romance for a wide variety of reasons, including the adventure, the fantasy, the entertainment.. But that’s what I read any book for…
Denise A. Agnew
by Denise A. Agnew
on January 25th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
