I was reading the newspaper this morning and came across the results of a recent study by the Duke Medical Center and the University of Albany. Here’s an article from Science Daily on the study.
Basically, the scientists gave “questionnaires measuring personality traits and life goals” to undergraduates. The Science Daily article hits the particulars, but the findings came down to these two main points (I’m quoting to avoid getting this wrong):
-The expected part: “…both college men and women showed strong desires for individual achievement and relational intimacy. As expected, self-focus was linked to the importance of achieving, such as having a successful career. Focus on others was related to the importance of having meaningful relationships and making a contribution to society.
-The unexpected part: “…men were more likely than women to give priority to a romantic relationship when asked to choose between a relationship and their career, education and traveling.”
Who saw that coming? Kind of goes against the women-as-proponents-of-home-and-hearth philosophy.
What do you think? Are undergrad males lying? Are undergrad females taking a work-first stance because they’re still in college but change their views once out of school? All bunk? Works for you? I’m wondering because there is this “thing” in romance novels where the alpha hero doesn’t want to get married or be in a committed relationship because that’s not his thing…or whatever. There’s not always a good explanation given for his lone wolf position. I’m thinking we as readers have been more accepting of alpha heroes having this innate anti-commitment feeling. This study suggests we could be getting that wrong.
Leave a comment and you’ll be entered to win a copy of WHEN GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO BAD BOYS, an anthology in which my novella hero wants a relationship and the heroine fights it. Makes me feel in step with the current scientific data… 
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wow, i would have thought it was the other way around, no offence to men lol.
by Ayla
on September 7th, 2007 at 10:06 am
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That is a surprise. As for romance charactes, I have been coming across more heroines who are reluctant in recent years.
by Little Lamb Lost
on September 7th, 2007 at 11:25 am
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That is a rather surprising study. There does seem to be more of a trend reflected in romances that I have read where the woman is more reluctant than the male to settle down. I guess it is a sign of the changing times.
by Cherie J
on September 7th, 2007 at 11:36 am
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I’m not that surprised. The most romantic person I know is a friend of my husband. He celebrates his wedding anniversary, the anniversary of his and his wife’s first date, and the anniversary of the day they learned they were having a baby. He plans regular romantic getaways and surprises her with candlelit dinners he’s cooked. (And at the same time he’s a muscular guy who regularly pounds heads when he plays hockey and baseball.)
Mr. Wonderful is NOT the traditional romantic type, but any guy who will sit on the bathroom floor with a four year-old whose nose is bleeding for 45 minutes, at 2 AM, in January is romantic in MY book.
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I’m suprised. Usually you think the women are more into relationships than the men.
by Stacy S
on September 7th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
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The results of that study were quite surprising and definitely unexpected regarding males. I see many women who are more into independence and their own careers nowadays as their choices are so unlimited in today’s world. Good for women everywhere!!! I did not expect to hear males were givng more priority to a relationship; I actually find that hard to believe when I consider most of the men of college age that I know. I kind of wonder if males are saying what they think others want to hear rather than what they really believe.
by Shari C
on September 7th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
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Was there a winner picked for the $15 Amazon gift card on the other page? I never saw a winner announced.
by RachaelfromNJ
on September 7th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
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Shari - Your experience with men in college mirrors mine. Admittedly it’s been awhile, but I don’t remember romance being the #1 thing on their minds.
Darlene - That is the most romantic thing ever. Mr. Wonderful is a keeper!
Rachael - The winner from last time is posted in an UPDATE in bold at the bottom of that entry. I’m thinking no one sees it when I put it there. I put it there before and everyone missed it. Not sure why I insisted doing it again instead of setting it out in a comment. I apologize. The winner was Chickie Brown.
by HelenKay
on September 7th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
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“…men were more likely than women to give priority to a romantic relationship when asked to choose between a relationship and their career, education and traveling.”
Who do they think they’re trying to fool, other than those doing the study!
by Karen B
on September 7th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
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I just recently talked with many of my cousins, both male and female, who are in college now. This study sure goes against what they had to say! The girls do want their careers, but they also take their relationships with their boyfriends very seriously. All the guys, but one, on the other hand didn’t feel the need to put much effort into a monogamist relationship.
The one thing that I think that made a difference was that the boyfriends where all older than the girls. So maybe more ready to take things more serious.
by Susan
on September 7th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
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Maybe the less woman think they have to get married, the more men want to. Or maybe they’ve read all the material that says married men are the happiest. Or maybe they were all lying lol. I do think times are changing. It’s not “necessary” for women to be married if they want children and they also have a better chance at a career now. I think the divorce rates show that it’s not always a happily ever after any more. Surveys and statistics are funny things - worded a different way, they may have gotten different results.
by catslady
on September 7th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
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I don’t buy the results of that study. I think the females were being honest while the males answered according to what they thought the researchers wanted to hear.
by Linda F
on September 7th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
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I don’t think the results of that study should be taken as gospel. Maybe they turned the results around.
by Estella
on September 7th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
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I’m not particularly surprised. My husband is way more romantic than I am. He’s the one who insisted on getting married (20 some years ago), not I.
by Laidybyrd
on September 7th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
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I think the results aren’t exactly accurate because in college people often don’t know exactly what they want yet in life. Plus, some of the women might have felt the need to stand up for career oriented goals.
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it is one person opionons.
by kim h
on September 7th, 2007 at 10:52 pm
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Gosh I am surprised with the results! I am way more romantic than my husband. You know all tests are viewed differently by each sex. Men might be answering with the idea how it should be answered and not honestly reflecting their real opinion. Well let’s all hope that men everywhere are getting the hint that us women love romance! 
by Michele L.
on September 8th, 2007 at 12:21 am
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Thanks Helen Kay. I kept looking and looking and couldnt find a winner.
by RachaelfromNJ
on September 8th, 2007 at 12:45 am
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Well, as the mother of two men in college aged 19 and 21, both are in serious relationships.
My oldest has been with his girlfriend for two years, they both want to go on to grad school next year and he’s willing to go where she gets in EVEN if he has to put his studies on hold. We are not in favor of this but we like the girlfriend! We want them to go where they are both accepted in their individual fields of study.
My other son is in his second year, he met his girlfriend around X-mas but didn’t start dating until April. He’s very romantic and in love. He’s constantly doing crazy things…dressing up at midnight the night before her birthday and gracing her with her favorite flower at the stoke of midnight, then planning a picnic the next afternoon taking everything on his bike and in a backpack! He’s already planning on spending his future with her. However, she’s premed so I don’t know how far this will actually go.
So both of my sons are in sync with the guys in the study. AMAZING but true!
by Laurie
on September 8th, 2007 at 5:57 am
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I don’t buy those results, either. It is far more common that women mature faster and want more committed relationships than men do. Some of it is biology. Most men aren’t thinking of falling in love and marrying until the meet “the one.” Just look at the evidence around you. Yes, there are exceptions, but very few men have marriage as a dating goal, whereas a lot of women do.
by Gail Barrett
on September 8th, 2007 at 7:06 am
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wtg chick
by kim h
on September 8th, 2007 at 11:49 am
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As the mother of a college age son, I can tell you that he and his buddies take their relationships with women very seriously. They are concerned about being good, stable partners and finding “Ms. Right.” Fiction has often done a disservice to the American male.
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I think you’ve made a good point that the young women are at a point in their lives where they are more concerned about their career. Once they are a little older I think, for many of them, their priorities will change.
by Maureen
on September 8th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
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I don’t put a lot of faith in studies, since there are so factor that can skew the result many of which have already mentioned. What I do like though is what HelenKay just did and that was to start a conversation about the results. I enjoyed getting everybody’s opinions and insights.
by Sue A.
on September 8th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
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do we have awinner?
by kim h
on September 14th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
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We do have a winner - Stephanie S. Congratulations!!!! Email me so I can get that book out to you. 
by HelenKay
on September 20th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
