Something has occurred in my private life that relates directly to writing romance. I can’t break confidence entirely, but I can say that it concerns a young relative who has been undecided about whether or not she has met the love of her life.
You may say, if she isn’t sure, she should pull back. But when this person has been a dear friend for many years you begin to see that the situation isn’t quite what it appears. Should she risk spoiling a long-standing friendship by turning it into something more?
I think that decision may just have been made for her, and the circumstances of this turnaround have made me think deeply about what makes the difference between a hero we can all admire and one who leaves us feeling just a little flat.
A hero has to go the extra mile. In order to win the fair maiden he must jump through a series of hoops in order to win both general and fair maiden’s approval and respect… these hoops may not include winning a golden fleece, or any attempts ar daring-do, but we do want to see him making that extra effort and proving himself in the same way heroes of old proved their worth in mythology- not always with weapons, but with the type of wisdom, courage and determination that sets them apart from other weaker contenders in the race to win the maid.
When someone takes on a problem without being asked to do so, and then solves that problem with the minimum of fuss, he wins our respect. We feel he’s a man, not a boy- someone to rely on- an equal- a worthy partner- up there with the best. Whether we’re talking about fiction, or real-life, our criteria when choosing a mate for ourselves, for those we love, or for the heroine in a book, remains the same.
What makes a man a hero in your eyes?
Post your answers here so we can all enjoy them, and you will automatically be entered in my competition to win some lucky white heather, from Scotland, plus the legend of white heather, a Starbuck’s voucher, more goodies than you can shake a stick at, as well as a copy of In The Venetian’s Bed, a book that takes you into one of the most beautiful cities in the world, the ever romantic Venice, and with your own delicious Italian hero called Luca, who is not only a doctor, but most definitely wins my Golden Fleece award for this month!
Love to all, and happy reading everyone!
Susan
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I hope that your friend’s man turned out to be a hero instead of a rat! I like the idea that a hero can be an ordinary man doing ordinary things. There just aren’t a lot of “Super” beings running around these days. A hero to me is considerate of others feelings, puts the other person’s wants ahead of their own. Does something helpful spontaneously…drives you some place when your car breaks down, brings you flowers when life’s getting you down, or takes you for a walk when you need company. It doesn’t revolve around money. Like your hero Luca…a hero can be a dedicatedprofessional who donates his time and expertise to those who need advice but can’t afford it or a person who is just committed to their job and willing to work hard at it with little financial reward like a lot of teachers today.
by Laurie G
on June 28th, 2006 at 6:55 am
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To me a man who makes his family a priority is a hero. That means that he puts them first and gives his time freely because that’s where he wants to be.
by Maureen
on June 28th, 2006 at 6:57 am
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A hero to me is someone who does something extraordinary or something that takes great courage and sacrifice. A person who puts aside his thoughts and feelings for another.
by KimW
on June 28th, 2006 at 7:27 am
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I agree with KimW but a hero in my mind can also be a good person who is kind, loving a caring to his friends and family. That is what is important.
by Pat L
on June 28th, 2006 at 7:36 am
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I love all your answers, and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me. It’s lunch time here in the UK, and believe me, I could do with a hero right now to sort out my book! I feel so passionately about each story I write down that I tend to get carried away and then I find that my ideas dont travel in a straight line! I have a real jumble of thoughts and impressions to sort through- and a deadline on Friday. Eeek!
It’s so good to come here and meet old friends and new, relax and chat for a while… I hope you feel the same way I do, and good luck everyone! Your thoughts on what makes a hero are great. I feel so strongly- even though I write about glamorous billionaires much of the time, because we all want a little escapism in our lives- that money is the least of it. I look for a lot more than that in my heroes (even the billionaires!) 
Sxx
by Susan Stephens
on June 28th, 2006 at 8:07 am
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A hero is a person who does what has to be done without making a big deal about it.
My stepfather is a hero. He’s dying of cancer, has been bedridden for months, and has yet to complain once. He’s enduring extraordinary pain in silence, to spare my mother what anguish he can. I have been honored to have him in my life.
by azteclady
on June 28th, 2006 at 8:59 am
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A hero to me is a man who is there for you no matter what and who is generous, caring and willing to go the extra mile for those he loves.
by Crystal B.
on June 28th, 2006 at 9:34 am
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A hero is that person who does what must be done. They do not expect or want praise or recognition for their deeds. They are strong emotionally/physically but are gentle in heart and spirit. They cheer and celebrate when their son scores that goal, and they are not afraid to cry with them and confort them when their dog has to be put to sleep. They are selfless. They are a role model for their children.
Hmmm..I just described my husband! :)
by Angie
on June 28th, 2006 at 9:37 am
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A hero to me is a man who is on your side even if everybody else seems to be against you.
by Minna
on June 28th, 2006 at 9:41 am
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I wish your friend the best in choosing to do what is right. What a difficult choice to make. My husband is my hero. He is there for me and our son when we need him. He tries his best to take care of us. To me a hero is there for his family when they need him. A hero does not need to be perfect because there is no such man here on earth but he needs to be the type of person who tries to give his best and strives to improve himself.
by Cherie Japp
on June 28th, 2006 at 10:15 am
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Hi Susan!
A hero to me is someone who is kind and helpful to all. My father was my hero but he passed away this Feb.
by Melissa
on June 28th, 2006 at 10:15 am
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A hero is someone who will put the needs of others before his/her needs. And will do this quietly without expecting thanks.
by Joyce
on June 28th, 2006 at 10:36 am
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4.30pm here in the UK, and I am really enjoying your comments.
Trouble is, I find myself nodding my head as I read each one and saying, ‘Yes, that’s right, I really agree with that’, which is making my youngest (home from uni’ at the moment) give me some rather concerned looks!
Sxx
by Susan Stephens
on June 28th, 2006 at 11:34 am
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A hero to me is a man who when a bat that gets in the house and have me hiding under a blanket will catch it and not laugh at me.:)
by Susan
on June 28th, 2006 at 11:54 am
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I think we all agree that the heros in our lives are the men that love us and are always there for us.
by Carol
on June 28th, 2006 at 12:02 pm
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a man who can protect me and let me be independent as well. who loves me for who i am.
by KIM H
on June 28th, 2006 at 12:15 pm
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Someone who is willing to go to the ends of the earth to help; one who gives unconditionally of his time and love; one who is himself and brings humor
into my life.
by Robyn
on June 28th, 2006 at 12:36 pm
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A hero is someone who has the confidence to stand up for who and what he believes in, and sticks with it (and the heroine!) until the end.
by Kayla
on June 28th, 2006 at 12:39 pm
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A hero to me is someone who is willing to do anything for those he loves and cares for.
by Jennifer Y.
on June 28th, 2006 at 1:31 pm
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Azteclady: May God Bless your father in law and your family. My thoughts are with you.
by Pat L
on June 28th, 2006 at 2:19 pm
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Anyone else have quite a delay in their comments being posted?
by Pat L
on June 28th, 2006 at 2:24 pm
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There is an issue with the spam blocker. If your comment doesn’t show immediately, it will be released when we check those on hold.
by Administrator
on June 28th, 2006 at 3:42 pm
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Ok, no problem. thanks.
by Pat L
on June 28th, 2006 at 5:15 pm
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Hello, ladies, and once again a huge thank you for your thoughtful comments. It’s bedtime here in the UK, but I’ll be up bright and early tomorrow to read everything through again. I’ve got so much out of this, and will be back tomorrow with our winner
Sleep well when it’s night time with you
Susan
by Susan Stephens
on June 28th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
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Thanks for the info on the spam blocker!
by Jennifer Y.
on June 28th, 2006 at 6:36 pm
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Someone who will give you their shoulder to cry on, ears to listen, eyes to pay ATTENTION, and arms for those comforting hugs:D , and a mouth that will give you advice and make you laugh:D
by Patricia
on June 28th, 2006 at 8:17 pm
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After reading my post about what a hero’s mouth should do, I think it’s a good thing I kept it G-rated
by Patricia
on June 28th, 2006 at 8:23 pm
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I must say that I agree with most of the ladies here. Not just risking your life or going beyond the call of duty; but being an everyday good and loving person makes a perfect hero.
by Karen T.
on June 28th, 2006 at 8:50 pm
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A hero to me is a man that cherishes his family and is a good man in his heart. A man who overcomes great obstacles or learns from his mistakes. A man who knows what is really important and what is not.
by Sandra M
on June 28th, 2006 at 8:59 pm
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:D
Good morning everyone!
Well, it’s morning here in the UK
I’ll be picking our winner tonight, my time… so you still have chance to enter.
Looking forward to hearing even more of your wonderful comments
Sxx
by Susan Stephens
on June 29th, 2006 at 1:58 am
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Good luck to us all.
Did you pick a winner from the last post?
Have a great and safe weekend/holiday. I am making it a very long weekend, taking off several days around the 4th. YAY!
by Pat
on June 29th, 2006 at 7:33 am
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Someone who love’s you no matter what. He is there for you, protects you, takes care of you, is good to you. Won’t let you down. He is my husband.
by Tammy G.
on June 29th, 2006 at 7:40 am
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Hi Susan,
To me, a hero is a man that knows how to both give and receive love. He gives respect, and inspires the respect of others. He is a man that does what is honorable and right, even when no one else is looking. :D
by Zara
on June 29th, 2006 at 12:29 pm
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My daughter’s father-in-law is a hero. He took care of his bedridden wife for eleven years until her death, and was there for their children. He lost a son to cystic fibrosis, but kept on keeping on, and is still there for his children and grandchildren. He is also a great cook, and has his whole family, plus a few extra people at his home for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. All this while holding down a fulltime job. I’m sure the world is a better place for having men like him in it.
by Ruby
on June 29th, 2006 at 4:40 pm
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OK Ladies, thank you for your patience :P
Apparently, I fell asleep over my laptop:oops: (which I took to bed last night) and had to have the specs taken from my nose and said laptop removed by my husband! (poor man!!!)
I will be back later today with out winner… and this time I’ll make sure Fin paws one out for us before I climb into bed!8O
Sxx
by Susan Stephens
on June 30th, 2006 at 1:39 am
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Boy, was that fast…
Fin has pawed out a winner:D
Kim H Many Many Congratulations!!!
Please send your snail mail details to SusanStephensContests@gmail.com
Thank you all once again for your participation and wonderful posts
And Kim, when I read your winning post I had to smile… it made me think of that wonderful line in Bridget Jones, where the heroine smiles dreamily and says, ‘He loves me just the way I am…’
Congratulations to you once again
With my very best wishes to you all
See you again, I hope on July 10th, when there will be another chance to chat and win a prize.
Susan
by Susan Stephens
on June 30th, 2006 at 1:50 am
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Yay Kim!! Congrats chick!
by Angie
on June 30th, 2006 at 8:52 am
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Congrats Kim H!
by Carol
on June 30th, 2006 at 2:29 pm
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yeah cool thanks very much :D
by KIM H
on June 30th, 2006 at 5:26 pm
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Congrats Kim. Nice way to start the w/e.
by Pat
on June 30th, 2006 at 8:13 pm
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hi i hope u received my snail mail and if not please let me know.
by kim h
on July 8th, 2006 at 10:07 pm
